The Journey: Episode Twelve

JUNE 1, 2020

These are crazy times we are living in right now. 2020 is really messing with my mental, emotional, and physical self. My blood sugars have been all over the place and I am taking more insulin now. I have been advised to go up to 85 units of my Lantus and I am working my way up, unfortunately. I am currently at 75 units and my blood sugars are still high. I don’t know what this means.

It’s so frustrating to see my insulin dosage go up but my blood sugar stay the same. What am I doing wrong?!

My diet hasn’t changed but I have been less inclined to exercise and my stress levels have gone up. I am trying to practice with methods to reduce stress but it doesn’t seem to work. Maybe I need to go back to work. It keeps my body moving, my mind working, and I get to interact with other people. I have no idea what I need.

On the bright side, Covid-19 cases have gone down significantly in my state and we’re starting to reopen our economy. I have no idea if my employer will give me a call back and offer my job back. I have to wait and see. The beaches are open and restaurants are opening their dining rooms again. My husband’s workplace is still trying to work out all of the kinks and they took this downtime to revamp their restaurant. We have no idea what is going to happen when they reopen.

But as soon as one thing clears, it’s been another thing this year. The news has been distressing and the violence on the streets amongst and against protestors has greatly saddened me. What will happen to our country in the coming months? These uncertain times really do bring me down. It feels like everything is out of my control, the state of the country, the beliefs of others, and even my own health. What are we to do?

I want to take this moment to show my support for my black brothers and sisters. I see you, I hear you, and I stand with you all the way from Hawaii. As a Native Hawaiian, I know the history of the Hawaiian Kingdom and how black people were always welcomed here. In fact, up until the last one hundred years, many Hawaiians were very dark in skin tone. With generations of mixing blood with other ethnicities, Part Hawaiians now have lighter skin. I am one such Hawaiian. Though my skin is light, I am still considered a Person of Color. I have been privileged to live in a state with so many ethnicities in one place that racism isn’t as prevalent, though it still happens here. I have never experienced being judged because of the color of my skin and I am thankful for that. But I can’t just sit idly by while African Americans are persecuted every day just because they weren’t born as lucky as I was. I stand in solidarity with you. All lives can’t matter until black lives matter, too.