The Journey: Episode Sixteen

JUNE 29, 2020

My first week of this low carb challenge down and it sucked. I did really well the first two days and then I dropped off. I guess I really can’t quit carbs cold turkey like that, but I’m going to keep trying. It’s been especially hard with cravings and eating out. On days where we don’t want to cook or don’t have time to cook, we’d order out and there’s not a lot of low carb options out there. I am trying though, that’s the most I can do. We’re running out of low carb snacks to eat and that’s affected me a bit.

I am very frustrated though. I’m being more conscious of the carbs I eat and trying to lessen them and yet my insulin continues going up. Last night I went up to 80 units and this morning my blood sugar was the same. I’m so frustrated! It’s like nothing I do will lower my blood sugar! Going up on my insulin doesn’t do anything for my blood sugar. It stays the same. Only twice during the first week my blood sugar was slightly within range and even then it was high. AGH WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!

Besides this super frustrating and irritating run, I am trying to destress my life. I think this whole pandemic is stressing me out and keeping my blood sugar levels high. Before the pandemic, I would eat whatever and take my insulin at night, then the next morning my blood sugar would be in range, that was at 50 units. Now I’m at 80 units and my sugar levels don’t change. I hate this. I want to go back to work. I want to stop stressing out. I just want my sugar levels to go down.

I’ve gained over 20 pounds since the pandemic started and I can’t seem to lose any of the weight again. It’s not like I can go out and relax somewhere, I’m afraid of catching coronavirus with all the people gathering at the beaches and everything. This has just been very frustrating.

This is just a very negative, ranting post. I’m sorry about that. Let’s see if there are any upsides to all of this.

On the bright side, I get to spend more time with my husband. He might be going back to work next month, fingers crossed. I get to spend time with my sister before she moves to Missouri then on to Germany with her husband. I probably won’t see her for a long while, which is both good and bad. She’s super annoying but she’s still pretty okay to hang around with.

I finally got my iMac to work and can now work on my desktop while sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. I have a new fountain pen that I’ve been using to journal and that’s been pretty therapeutic. Honestly, I can’t think of anything else. Hopefully things will get better and I’ll be able to take better control of my life. Hopefully.

The Journey: Episode Seven (Easter Edition)

APRIL 12, 2020

Happy Easter! Or, I suppose, the day after Easter. For most of my life, Easter was literally about the egg hunt and loads of candy afterward. My sisters and I helped our parents pack the eggs the night before and my parents would hide them the next morning. Usually, before 8am they’d go out and we were released at 9am. I loved dyeing the eggs when we were little. Then I turned 12 and it was mostly for my sisters. Then we all got too old, but thankfully my aunty had a son when I was 11. By the time we were too old for eggs, Hunter was just the age for the hunt and we got to do it all over again for him. Then Hunter’s sister, my cousin Kale, had a son and we were doing it all over again for him. In 2015, I had an egg hunt for my husband (then boyfriend) because he never had one before and I thought it was so much fun doing it for him. He loved it and we shared the candy afterwards.

Now that’s my history of the egg hunt. Easter has always been about the candy and my grandma’s honey baked ham (YUM). Now I’m 25 turning 26 this year. Coronavirus is a thing and the Merrie Monarch was canceled this year. Merrie Monarch is an annual hula festival that takes place here in my hometown of Hilo. Every year, Hawaiian craft and clothes vendors flock to Hilo and sell their special Merrie Monarch collections. It brings much needed revenue to the town. Now that’s all changed.

In August of 2018, I started going to church just as something to do with my coworkers. When I was little, I used to sleepover for the entire weekend at my friends houses and we’d go to church on Sunday, whatever church they went to. So I’ve been to a lot of different churches and seen a lot of different denominations. Last year, I ended up getting baptized and joining a Christian church in my area. Last Easter, before I was baptized, I went to their service and I enjoyed the service very much. I just watched their Easter service online and it got me thinking.

I’m really glad I joined the church last year and I have this faith to kind of keep me sane during this pandemic. Everything seems so bleak and depressing and it feels really good to have a faith to keep me sane. But at the same time, during this quarantine and lockdown I’ve been thinking about how this will change our society when it’s over. How will it change holidays, sports, and school?

Do you know how much candy goes in to this holiday? I was thinking how can we change that? How can we take the sweets out completely or at least decrease it? Then I saw a video on Tik Tok. I follow a lady called CouponKatie and she showed how she does Easter for her kids. Besides candy, she also puts some money and small toys in the eggs. Nothing more than $5 bills but that’s up to you and small lego figurines and other toys that can fit in to eggs. I thought that was a fabulous idea!

So for my diabetic parents or parents of diabetic children, save your plastic Easter eggs for next year and cut back on the candy and fill them with other items like change and toys! Guess what we’re having for dinner tonight. The very not-diabetic-friendly dish of kalbi (YUMMM). If you want the recipe for that (and I know it’s not diabetic friendly) just comment below and I can share it this coming Saturday. My husband has had it marinating overnight and my grandma has been craving it since she graduated from her Ornish program. Breaking the diet already.

Anyway, besides church and egg hunts, my diabetic journey isn’t going well. I have gained weight in this quarantine even with all of the healthier food and exercise. I believe it’s the unhealthy amount of snacks and the constant snacking while I’m not doing anything. It’s healthy snacks but of course, everything in moderation. How the heck can you really avoid the Quarantine-15?! How can I avoid gaining 15 pounds during this?! I’ve already gained 5 pounds here.

Otherwise, my insulin injections are getting better and I’m taking my medication and everything. My blood sugar is not within range anymore and I’ve had to up my insulin dosage to 50 units but it’s been five days so now I have to go up to 55 units tonight. I think it’s a whole bunch of factors like being locked down and snacking so much. Hopefully this pandemic ends soon and I can see if what I’m doing now (minus the snacking) is working.

In three weeks, I am going to get a blood test to check my A1C and the following week I’m gonna have my endocrinologist appointment over the phone and see what we’re gonna do next. Here’s to hoping!

Have as great an April as you folks can have out there! Stay safe and stay healthy! I love you guys!