Season Two: Episode Six

MARCH 28, 2021

This week I had an eye appointment for my new glasses. My eyes have gotten a little worse in the last three years. In the past year, I’ve been getting headaches from wearing my glasses so I knew I needed a new prescription. I’m glad I’m getting new ones.

My ophthalmologist said that the pressure in my eye is borderline high. I’m not sure how I can lower the pressure in my eye, but he said that’s the only problem he sees with my eyes right now, so I’m really glad that even though my diabetes still isn’t under control, it isn’t completely messing up my body yet.

On Friday, I had my appointment with my endocrinologist. Not very helpful. He wants to try and put me back on Ozempic. I told him that we were doing better financially but I don’t think we’re that great yet. I mean $800 per pen for only a month’s worth. Not sure how I feel about it but I said I would try. I’m not sure if he’s also giving me the fast-acting insulin too or if I’m even still going to be taking my Lantus with the Ozempic. I have to give his office a call this week to clarify my drug usage.

I’ve been feeling unwell the last couple of days. I haven’t been in to work much but I’m still working from home. I woke up with a sore throat a couple days ago and it went away, then the next morning it was worse and didn’t fully go away. Then this morning at 4:30 I woke up and couldn’t breathe or swallow and I was coughing. And I’m not going to lie to you, I thought I had COVID. I started crying and I couldn’t go back to sleep for a long while. But after sitting up for a while and drinking water, my cough got better and I was able to swallow a bit more.

My husband bought me cold and cough medicine when he came home from work and I took some and felt a lot better. I’m still coughing here and there but I can breathe. I’m still worried it’s COVID. We don’t have free COVID testing until Wednesday and that’s a bit too long to be out of work I think. But we’ll see what happens when I wake up in the morning on Monday, because apparently it happens while I’m asleep.

I’ll give you folks an update next Monday here on the blog or earlier on my Facebook page. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but if tomorrow I feel worse, I’m going to go to Urgent Care to see what the heck is up with my body. Wish me luck folks.

Season Two: Episode Two

JANUARY 10, 2021

I had my eye doctor appointment this past week. Turns out my eyes are okay. Thank goodness. I was a little worried when I took an eye test that gauged my peripheral vision. I could hardly see most of the lines with my left eye, but my doctor said I was nearly perfect which was good considering it was my first time doing that test. Though I do remember when I was a kid, I did something like it at my pediatrician’s doctor office. Gosh that was a memory from a million years ago, I still remember how the doctor office looked it never changed, and it actually still hasn’t changed to this day. The same doctor is there still practicing.

My gynecologist is the same doctor that delivered my sisters and I. It’s pretty crazy living in a small town. Hardly anything changes here, but when you really look, everything has changed.

I am currently making changes to my life. I think it’s been pretty positive so far. I have consciously made the decision to eat less rice. Before I would eat rice every meal of the day, but now it’s only once or twice a day, mostly once though. As I write this on Sunday night, I had a fruit salad for dinner because I had a pretty heavy breakfast, medium lunch, and I just didn’t feel like eating a lot for dinner so we went and got fruits. I wanted apples, but I ended up eating the fruit salad instead tonight.

This morning, I was the lightest I’ve been since May 2020. I weighed in at 207.9lbs. I’ve been plateaued at 212 for a long time and I’m really glad that cutting out rice has really made me feel lighter and less bloated. Sometimes I’m weak and eat a bunch of rice, but now I feel awful afterwards and completely regret it, so I’m learning a little at a time. I’m getting there.

I still haven’t contacted my endocrinologist. I’m going to get a raise at my job, so maybe that’ll be able to help pay for the second insulin, but really, I don’t think I can afford it. Oh and my pharmacist gave me a different needle from the one I’ve had and I HATE IT. It says it’s the same length as my other needle but that is a bull lie, it looks so much longer! When I inserted the needle in my thigh, I felt the whole thing and it kind of felt like it popped something when the whole needle went in, I don’t know how else to describe it. When I was injecting the insulin, I could feel every single click of the plunger as each unit went in and I HATED THAT MOST. It’s not been a good experience.

I’m working and studying to get my securities license. I’m trying to really work on my business and it’s going to be a long road, but I have to keep reminding myself why I’m doing it. The studying is like learning a whole new language but I’m excited about it.

My blood sugar still hasn’t been in range all that much lately, but I’m getting there. I wish I wasn’t diabetic. I wish I could have a child and a house of our own. I wish I wasn’t fat and I had an actual butt. Wishing can only get you so far. You have to put in the work and make your wishes come true. You can shout your wishes to the Universe, but YOU have to meet the Universe halfway. I’m trying to meet the Universe halfway and it’s a lot of work, but I have so much to fight for. I have to fight for it, no matter what.

The Journey: Episode Twenty-One

AUGUST 30, 2020

I had my doctor appointment on Thursday. I’m a little confused. I told my doctor all about my difficulties with my 85 units of Lantus and my blood sugar not being within range. We were concerned that my A1C hadn’t improved. So he decided to prescribe Novolog Mix 70/30. He wants me to take 50 units twice a day, 15 minutes before a meal.

What I’m confused about is, am I taking both Lantus and Novolog? I forgot to ask on the phone appointment and when I called the office an hour later to change pharmacies. I had to go with the Walgreen’s in my area because of the price. CVS would have charged me almost $250 per box, whereas Walgreens could catch me at $140, I hope. I’d have to use GoodRx for this one. But if I still have to take Lantus, then it’s cheaper at CVS. Then my pills are all at another pharmacy. All of this because my health insurance won’t cover insulin.

So because I don’t know if I’m taking both, I ran out of Lantus, I don’t have any money for either of them, and my Walgreens was fresh out of Novolog so I have to wait until Monday afternoon to see if it came in and take my insurance cards to them. I also have to hope they’ll take my GoodRx for the price it says. If not then I’m not going to be able to take this insulin AT ALL. This is so frustrating, not being able to afford your medication.

My last dose was Thursday night and since then I’ve had to rely on my cinnamon tea and berberine supplements. Surprisingly, they’ve been holding me at an okay morning blood sugar. It’s not within range but it’s not over 150 either so that’s good. I’m wondering if my insulin really is working or if this whole time it’s been the tea and berberine that’s gotten my number down in the morning. I’d like to try and purchase at least one box of Novolog to see if it will be more effective.

I’m so upset. He was going to prescribe me Ozempic, which I know worked, but it was over $400 for ONE PEN. I had it for one month last year and I was only able to buy it because my sister and best friend loaned me money to get it. But I can’t afford it now with this pandemic. I don’t know what to do. We have bills to pay, my unemployment benefit claim is going to be up soon (and that was only $200 every two weeks), and my husband doesn’t make enough for the bills but too much to qualify for unemployment.

Because of this, I’ve decided to start selling merchandise for my blog. If the sales can cover the monthly costs for my blog, then that’s one less thing we have to worry about each month. If you’re interested in pre-ordering some stickers, you can find the post on Instagram or on my Facebook page.

Also, I’m trying to kickstart my merchandise so I can eventually open an online shop and prepare for World Diabetes Day and National Diabetes Awareness Month this November. I’m always coming up with sticker designs and there will be new ones added every time. This pre-order is to help me order more stickers. Please think about supporting. I know it’s not a great time right now with the pandemic but anything helps.

Hopefully, next week I’ll be able to update you folks that I was able to buy my insulin and my numbers are looking better. I have no idea what the future holds but I can only hope that it looks bright.